Quote of the Day (2015-04-30)

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, we are talking about 100,000 deaths a year."

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but cigarette taxes pay for a third of the cost of the National Health Service. We are saving many more lives than we otherwise could because of those smokers who voluntary lay down their lives for their friends. Smokers are national benefactors."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-04-29)

Jim Hacker: "Fortunately Bernard, most of our journalists are so incompetent that they have the gravest difficulty in finding out that today is Wednesday."

Bernard Woolley: "It's actually Thursday, Minister."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-04-28)

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

Dante Hicks: "Empire".

Randal Graves: Blasphemy.

Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

Source: Clerks

Quote of the Day (2015-04-26)

Rebecca: You know, I really think I can put together a great Thanksgiving dinner. This'll be the second one that I've cooked, and believe me, the first one was not the disaster that my family said it was. Those kids had a pretty good time in that ambulance.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2015-04-25)

The concept was pure, simple, true. It inspired me. Lit a rebellious fire, but ultimately I learned the lesson that Goldman, Proudhom and the others learned. That true freedom requires sacrifice and pain. Most human beings only think they want freedom. In truth they yearn for the bondage of social order, rigid laws, materialism. The only freedom man really wants, is the freedom to become comfortable.

Source: A Beautiful Mind

Quote of the Day (2015-04-24)

[Frasier's rocker neighbor's music is shaking his apartment]

Frasier: Doesn't he take a break for sex and drugs?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2015-04-23)

Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated!

Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-04-22)

Sylvie: It is infuriating that your unhappiness does not turn to fat!

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2015-04-21)

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2015-04-20)

Blessed are the cheesmakers.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2015-04-19)

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.

David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.

Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?

David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.

Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?

David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2015-04-18)

Gus Portokalos: You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2015-04-17)

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."

Parole Board member: Repeat offender!

Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?

H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.

Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?

H.I.: No, sir, no way.

Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.

H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?

H.I.: Yes, sir.

Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2015-04-16)

Kramer: "Karate. It's a lifetime pursuit of balance and harmony."

Jerry: "But with punching and kicking."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-04-15)

I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2015-04-14)

Alvy Singer: Sylvia Plath - interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college girl mentality.

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2015-04-13)

Margaret Lord: The course of true love...

Macaulay Connor: ...gathers no moss.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2015-04-12)

I read the news today oh, boy

Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire

And though the holes were rather small

They had to count them all

Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall



Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2015-04-11)

Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don't eat no meat?

[the entire room stops, in shock]

Aunt Voula: Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2015-04-10)

[Ralph has been laid off]

Ed Norton: I know just how you feel because I went through the same thing two or three years ago when they laid me off from the sewer. I felt just like a fish out of water.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2015-04-09)

Sir Humphrey: "How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way?"

Sir Arnold: "Sorry, I cannot talk about that."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-04-08)

Reggie Lampert: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.

Peter Joshua:Yes, of course. But you will let me know if anyone goes on the critical list.

Reggie Lampert: Quitter.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2015-04-07)

"Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine. That guy's coming home in a body bag."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-04-06)

Ralph: Norton, I'm gonna count to five. And when I get to five you better be out that door.

Norton: I'm not a-scared of you. If you could count they wouldn't be investigating your taxes.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2015-04-05)

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?

Buttercup: Well... you were dead.

Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Buttercup: I will never doubt again.

Westley: There will never be a need.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2015-04-04)

Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-04-03)

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2015-04-02)

Sally: And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.

Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-04-01)

ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle?

OLD WOMAN: No one live there.

ARTHUR: Well, who is your lord?

OLD WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: ... But all the decision of that officer ...

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: ... but a two-thirds majority ...

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to shut up.

OLD WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king!

OLD WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Source: Holy Grail